Yet more corporatese guff

OK, class, today's lesson is “corporatese and the art of motormouth maintenance”. 

Can anyone explain how setting up a provincial text sub-editing operation in an English backwater can be "part of a drive to forge a more global approach to desking"?

First prize: an extra £1 added to the £5,000 relocation to Nottingham.

Second prize: an extra £1.50 added to the £5,000 relocation to Nottingham. 

Now it might make sense economically, but... not since Mel Brooks put the Sheriff of Nottingham in tights and King John lost the crown jewels in the Wash has the Midlands seen such tumult. ■